The Glimpse

Application

2006-08-04T01:32:51Z

U-M application came out today.

The online version. I started working on it. Some of the stuff I don't understand, or know what to put. Help please.

and I have to work on the counselor's letter. -- an extra step to kill me in the process.

P.S. -- I'm scared.

nside_this_mind @ 2006-08-02T10:16:00

2006-08-02T14:17:23Z

Happy Birthday to me!

at 11:11 a.m. 17 years ago today, I was born.

*cheese*

Now if only I was turning 18 *rubs chin*.

nside_this_mind @ 2006-07-28T17:35:00

2006-07-28T21:36:17Z

I really don't want to continue to live.

I'm Off

2006-07-09T16:53:59Z

So I'm off to the KCP program at U-M Ann Arbor `til Thursday ....

I will most definitely have a lot to write about then.

Wish me luck...

luv you all -- bye!

nside_this_mind @ 2006-07-04T10:34:00

2006-07-04T14:34:54Z

Mildly and Temporarily better.

All Away

2006-07-02T15:21:50Z

I just don't feel like living anymore.

There's no point for me. The one thing I want is killing me and still I don't want to lose it.

Why do I have to have a heart? Why do I have to care about people? It's pointless really, it just gets you to the end of a dead-end street. Not many times have I wanted to discontinue my life but now is the time when everything I try so hard for fails and I can see my existence doing the same thing.

Why get good grades? No one cares. Why love someone? The feelings won't be shared.

I wish I could just be full of hate and be so blocked that no feelings could pass through my cold body. And don't worry all of you, believe me, it's not you.

A word of advice: don't care about anybody or anything ... that way you won't get hurt all the time. You'll be safeguarded from being a REAL human being ... and, well, isn't that what we all want?

Uncontrollable

2006-06-25T20:47:34Z

Right now I am soo pissed off at my family that ... man I don't even know what I feel like doing. I am sooooooooooooo FUCKING mad that I want to strangle someone ... literally.

One thing, one FUCKING thing for my birthday ... doesn't cost money ... would keep to myself ... damn .. it means the most to me and what the fuck do they say .... it's fucking inappropriate!

WELL FUCK YOU!!

I HATE GOING TO ALABAMA every year and leaving stuff behind that I wanna do ... and it's always around MYYYYYYYYYY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!! MINE!!! but of course they don't give a damn ... that's them. FUCK Jensen ... FUCK what she wants this summer because she has to go do shit on her birthday and doesn't even get what she asked for. I HATE YOU!

You tell me yes and then turn around and fucking take it back. Tell me that he can come with us ... shit we weren't even supposed to be staying that long. Now I have to go to the hell whole by myself ... I don't even really wanna go with Steph because I want to go with Domanique more than anything else. SHIT, no one trusts me ... they all think that I'm soo bad that I'm always doing stuff with him. No one likes him. I HATE THEM! They cannot accept who I am and who I like. Sure they act fucking fake but I bet you if he was white then they'd be like suuuuuuuuure lets have him come down here and stay for a fucking MONTH!

I wish I was 18. I wish I could go there by myself with him and without my family and just chill. Just fucking spend time with him because that's all I want to do. Not have sex. Not mess around. Just fucking spend time with him before he goes back to school! Because then I only get to see him some of the time and I have to worry about him being with someone else. SO FUCK YOU! Fuck you for not caring. Fuck you for doing the same shit you've always done. Can I not stay home for one summer?

I hate you because you don't trust me. I'M GOING TO BE SEVEN FUCKING TEEN and you don't care. I'm just 10 to you ... I'll always be ten. GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO MOVE OUT AND GET AWAY FROM THEM!!!

The one thing I asked for my birthday ... for Domanique to come to the Lake with us and they said it's inappropriate. FUCK THAT SHIT AND FUCK YOU. You'll get a nice dose of silence for the rest of the fucking summer.   You wanna know about me ... fuck that ... you get to know nothing! I won't tell you shit. And, really, you deserve a whole lot more than that because you don't trust me. Never have I done bad shit and you wanna act like I can't even be at the lake with him for a week with fucking adult supervision.

FUCK YOU^{1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

I hate you!}

Philip

2006-06-12T16:03:06Z

So I'm sure most of you know that P. Vails died yesterday. I got a call at midnight from Domanique telling me, and I cried some. I still really can't believe it...it doesn't seem real. He was just HERE.

That's why I don't want to waste anytime with any of the people I love. It's a really scary thought to me that any one of the people I care for could just drop dead and I would never be able to see them again. I really can't comprehend what his family must be going through.

So R.I.P. Philip. I love you and miss you.

I love you all .. and you're not allowed to leave me EVER.

What A Thought

2006-05-31T13:05:40Z

I don't know if you all have ever watched Hotel Rwanda but I suggest that if you have a strong stomach and a sense of injustice, that you do.

Food For Thought

2006-05-25T13:02:27Z

Chinese proverbs

Everyone eats and drinks; yet only few appreciate the taste of the food.

Doctrine of Mean, 4.2 by Confucuis

If you know, to recognize that you know,
If you don't know, to realize that you don't know:
That is knowledge.

True knowledge is when one knows the limitations of one's knowledge.

Confucuis

An inch of time is an inch of gold.
But an inch of gold can't buy an inch of time.

Learn without thinking begets ignorance.
Think without learning is dangerous.

--- Just pondering these thoughts. I'll come back to them and reflect. Oh and if you haven't guessed ... my new fascination is Chinese/Asian culture.

nside_this_mind @ 2006-05-24T17:15:00

2006-05-24T21:16:17Z

I love you Jimmy and John! :-D Even if you are some pimps lol

I wanna see those pics!!!

nside_this_mind @ 2006-05-22T18:25:00

2006-05-22T22:26:18Z

so, I officially became a better person today. Look at my Michigan friends on Facebook and you shall see.

requested by ... and I didn't refuse.

*still in shock* Maybe it's time for me to let that grudge go for now.

nside_this_mind @ 2006-05-20T10:39:00

2006-05-20T14:39:30Z

PISTONS = temporary LOVE

Seniors

2006-05-19T14:36:44Z

To all my senior friends. I love you all and wish you the best of luck in college.

You'll never know how much you've all helped me this year. Thank you.

nside_this_mind @ 2006-05-17T22:01:00

2006-05-18T02:02:28Z

PISTONS = loathe

Marcus

2006-05-14T15:25:46Z

Oh yeah, I saw Marcus Mimms at the mall yesterday.

*Random*

CAR!

2006-05-11T23:53:44Z

*does Irish jig* I got my car today! Drove it home!

YAY! Parking permit here I come.

:-D

Boredom

2006-05-08T01:47:01Z

How Black are you?
[] You say nigga.
[ x] You wear big shirts.
[x] You listen to Rap and Hip hop.
[x] Your pants/skirt are low.
[x] You own Dickies.
[] You are in a Gang.
[x] You love Tupac.
[x] You love fried chicken.
[] You call white people crackers.
[] You own or want an escalade.
Total: 6

[x] You love jewerly.
[x] You keep your shoes clean.
[x] You represent your area code.
[x] Your usually in groups.
[] You love gambaling.
[] You stole something at least once.
[x] You ride bikes.
[x] You perfer plain teeshirts.
[] You own a pic.
[x] You have a old cd player.
Total: 7

[x] You at least tried to beatbox.
[x] You ~~like~~ love kool-aid
[x] You yell alot.
[x] You love parties.
[xxxxxx] You want to ~~fight~~ kill at least one person.
[x] You have your friends back.
[x] You love playing basketball.
[x] You watch BET.
[x] You watch MTV.
[] You have a cheap cell phone
Total: 9

[x] You understand Black gossip.
[x] You have black friends.
[x] You have an average house.
[] You live in a bad neighbor hood.
[x] You walk around alot.
[x] You call some people by nicknames.
[] You love attention.
[x] You curse all the time.
[x] You have your own unique handshake.
[x] You would pick up change on the floor.
Total: 8

[x] You are almost never home.
[] You have gotten beaten up.
[] You beated someone up.
[x] You talk crap and people talk it back.
[] You hate the police.
[] You carry or carried a weapon.
[] You spit in public.
[x] You wear wife-beaters.
[x] You can lean with it and rock with it.
[x] You can shake your butt like a black girl.
Total: 4

Overall Total: 35
Percent: 70%

Now add up your total and mulytiply it by 2 and thats how black you are.

Lmao now ppl can't say I act black.. It's only a C average. I'm me.

nside_this_mind @ 2006-05-07T21:31:00

2006-05-08T01:33:28Z

People who went to Levey lol ... do you remember Brooke Johnson?

Well I saw her and Sharita on Friday. Brooke working at Ruby Tuesday's and Sharita at the AP History test.

Just thought I'd let you know I had a mini-reunion Friday.

Sucked In

2006-05-08T01:28:36Z

Leave your name and:
1. I'll respond with something random about you
2. I'll challenge you to try something
3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you
4. I'll tell you something I like about you
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours

Chill

2006-05-07T17:06:21Z

So yesterday was cool. Domanique came over around 3 and we watched Rocky IV and some of Parental Control lmao. The bad thing was I wanted to be able to drive to the movies and to go get him buttt we have the dumbass rental car and I won't have mine until later this week. Bums.

Then we went to see Mission Impossible III, which was fantastic by the way. The Pheonix was packed lol wow. I was amazed. I'm never there when it's packed ... maybe because I hate the theater. I like AMC where the arm chairs go up and cuddling can take place. Lol, after the movie we argued about going to Taco Bell because he didn't eat before we left and he was hungry. I didn't want him to go home with nothing to eat so we ended up going. He just didn't want to look greedy lol smh.

Guess he got his drive back. And how ironic is it that now since I'm getting a car ... he's planning on getting one too. Smh, that's alright though I've never rode with him and I wanna be the passenger for once. This may sound weird but I've always wanted to ride with my boyfriend and have him take me somewhere. Just to have the feeling and freedom.

Carnival here I come.

Catch Up

2006-05-06T16:33:56Z

So yesterday was the AP American History test. Hmmm Trexler was right about the DBQ and we all started laughing. They weren't that bad. But the multiple choice was retarded because they had a lot of stuff on there that we did not learn or never heard of. Smh. But I think I did pretty good. Probably a 4 or 5 .. if it's not a 5 .. I already said I'm jumping off that building.

My grandmother is buying my car today. I won't get it til Thursday or Friday because the woman who is selling it needs the car until she gets her new one. Can you believe I'll be driving a 2000 Blue Explorer? Smh. Still hard for me to believe. My own car.

The Carnival is at the Livonia Mall and I have to go before the weekend is over. It's Stephanie and I's tradition.

Fuck That!

2006-05-03T22:45:26Z

So this stupid ass little 16 year old girl hit our car today. Our LEASED FUCKING CAR! The one I need to use to pick Domanique up on Friday! Thankfully my sister and mom are alright. FUCKING WHORES! I tell you. Now I don't even know if I can go check out MY CAR because of this stupid ass situation. PAY FUCKING ATTENTION TO WHERE YOU ARE GOING! This is why some stupid children should not get a driver's license. DAMNIT! All of what little bit of good day I had has now been ruined.

To add to it the stupid ass attendence ppl keep calling my house saying someone marked me absent. I will KILL if I lose credit. I DON'T KNOW WHICH TEACHER IS DOING THIS SHIT BUT IT HAS TO STOP! DEATH.

All I know is my plans to get my fucking car and to be with Domanique on Friday better not be fucked up by this little idiot who doesn't know how to drive. I don't feel bad for her. Brand new car too, dumbass. Maybe that's mean. But I don't care. LIFE IS A MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE!

Fuck it, if we don't get a fucking rental car then I can't even get to school. Suck that shit up and drive it the way it is. *Beats things up*

ACT!

2006-05-01T23:52:07Z

I did it. I got my goal. 26. 11 out of 12 on the writing portion.... oooohhh proving my writin` skills!

Chea, now I need that 28-30 in June.

Whoooa buddy, I'm proud of myself. Middle half of U of M-Ann Arbor students have a 26 on ACT. Ohhhhhhhhh yeah!

----------

Pissed cause we got a new teacher replacing MacFarland and he wants us to do a shit load of work a month before school is out. Bastard. I already don't like him.

Love it cause Domanique came over yesterday and today. *cheese*

Mad because once my AP tests are over I still have hella stuff to do. Cheers to my death because of stress.

Annoyed because I don't have any fucking idea how to write this stupid MIPA article. Looking at the old one is not helping. It's gonna be hella short, too fucking bad!

Umm...

2006-04-30T01:14:59Z

What's up with everyone getting their ACT scores and me not getting mine today? Huh? ACT, am I gonna haveta whoop some ass?

So what'd you guys get?